3 Uses for Your Vacation Pictures

A funny picture of a funny pictureYou just returned from your long-awaited trip to somewhere warm, like the surface of the sun. Thanks to your smart phone, digital camera, and your camera/phone case which can withstand heat up to 10,200ºF, you took 4,322,566×1039 pictures.

Now, if you’re thinking, ‘hold on, that seems like a lot of pictures,’ let me explain: it’s not. Assuming you are awake for at least 8 hours a day during your vacation, you would only have to take 1.5×1012 pictures every second. I bet you took that many without even thinking about it.

The real issue becomes what to do with these pictures. You don’t want them to just sit around on your computer hard drive (assuming your hard drive has at least 90,000,000,000 terabytes of space, which it probably does unless you bought a computer meant for the average consumer. In that case, you need to get one of those top-secret government models; you know, the ones so secret that it is a felony just to talk about them).

No, you want people to SEE your photos. In that case, there are a few things you can do.


Yes, the most obvious choice is to put the photos up on Facebook. Pick one and make it your wall photo, and take the rest and shove them in an album. Then, sit and wait. If you are really desperate, you can post that “i just returned from trip and was awesome check out my fotos please:) im desprate realy desprate please please.”

After all, this is what everyone secretly wants but is too scared to admit to wanting: trillions of vacation pictures that are boring, repetitive, and show just how much fun people had without you. Trust me, that’s why people still post all of their vacation photos on Facebook every year.

Actually, this might lead to your losing every Facebook friend you’ve made, although you should be able to keep your real life friends*.

*We all know this is wishful thinking. You don’t have any of those anymore. But at least you’ve still got twitter.

The other way to use your photos on Facebook, then, is to tag famous people who aren’t in the picture. For example, if you have a picture of a gecko, tag Newt Gingrich. If you took a picture at a baseball game, tag Mitt Romney. And, of course, all of your photos from Boulder Colorado or the Grand Canyon need to have Barack Obama tagged.

Create a Career

Upload all of your photos to your stock photo website of choice, setting the prices as low as possible. Then, set a goal of selling 1 photo. Assuming everyone else on the website is an adult, meaning that they can only take 4 or 5 pictures a second, your massive supply will mean it is virtually impossible for you not to sell at least one photo.

As soon as you’ve sold 1 photo, you can truthfully say that you are a successful professional photographer. If you want to put it on your college application, call yourself a self-trained successful moneymaking professional in-demand highly skilled premium grade artistic photographer.

Photo Albums

Photo albums are generally lightweight and pretty. Sadly, that means that teen boys have little use for them. You can’t throw them at anyone, because they are too light, and you can’t keep them anywhere visible, because they are too pretty.

All of these problems are solved, though, when you fill them with your own photos. They become both heavy and meaningful. All of a sudden, you have blocks of meaningful heaviness that you can use to:

  • Throw at someone
  • Whack someone with
  • Use for school projects
  • Build a house out of
  • Build an awesome house out of in a way that you can remove parts of the walls and whack people with them
  • Use aforementioned house for school projects

Whichever option you choose, I’m sure it is the right choice. There is only one wrong option, and that is: doing nothing. After all, you need to force your friends/politicians/teachers/family/pets to see each and every photo.

I mean, how could you live with yourself if you selfishly refused to share every one of the 4,322,566×1039 masterpieces that you took? You couldn’t.

At the end of July 2011, we launched our ebook, titled “50 Essential Skills Every Teen Must Have.” It’s completely free, and you can pick up your copy (if you haven’t already gotten it) on our ebook page.

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