The 3 Ways Teenagers Keep a Poker Face

I’d like to start by saying gambling is probably bad.  I’ve been told that it’s bad, I’ve read that it’s bad, and I’ve heard that it’s bad, so I’d have to say it’s like golf: it’s a sport for those with tons of money who want to spend it as fast as they can.

Next, I’d like to move on to the fact that teenagers are probably not very good at poker.  We are extremely adept at solitaire, because that was one of the few games originally offered on the iPod, but poker is not our strong suit (pardon the pun.  If you don’t see a pun, you should go read something funnier, like the FBI warning before movies.  Hoo-Ha, those details are hilarious).  However, poker face perfectly describes what teenagers look like, in addition to being a hit song.

Here is the default teenage expression:Teen Expression

Here is the teenage expression in extremely emotional situations:

On fire:Teen on fireWinning the jackpot of a slots machine:Teen winning at slotsExposed to Owner-less Gum:Teen with GumIn two out of three of those extreme situations, the test teen (whose charred remains are currently auditioning for a toothpaste commercial) kept the same face.  How is this possible?

Firstly, nothing surprises us teens anymore.  Even before somebody who actually deserved a Grammy won a Grammy, we’d gotten used to surprises: the fact that the waiter/waitress still gave us a kid’s menu when we walked into the restaurant (for kids 10 and up), Shrek 4 (I had no idea there could possibly be another sequel coming out, because I thought that Pixar had used every possible plotline-actually, they had, but that didn’t stop them), and the fact that one actually had to be able to drive before one could get one’s license (I always figured I’d learn on the freeway-start tough, fail early, that’s my motto).

Secondly, we teens are constantly under attack by other teens (not with weapons, with emotions).  Heck, teens have mastered the emotional atom bomb.  Why else would we teens have a reputation for being emotional?  The flat face is our defense (unless you are French.  Similar to the French Army’s reputation, French teens aren’t too good at defending their emotions.  Instead, French teens use those funny hats as emotional shields, because their faces always betray their emotions).

Lastly, it makes others uncomfortable, which we teens find amusing.  Imagine you are teaching a class, and you see a bunch of blank faces staring back at you.  You’d be slightly uncomfortable:Classroom lectureStudentsNervous teacherTeacher running away

The same note as last time, wonderful and amazing readers: like the pics? Don’t like them? Find them funny? Comment.  Feel free to comment on any post you have thoughts on.

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Comments

  1. The last picture that said
    "What did you learn today?
    What will you learn tomorrow?
    What will you learn next year?
    I will find you if you stop learning"
    Made me lol, nice post!

  2. Thanks, TerrabyteCafe. I'm so glad that you found this post funny (and that you took the time to comment).

    - Phil

  3. I rather enjoyed the assignments that're written on the chalkboard- most of which are, even in the real world, ridiculous. It received quite the giggle.

    Decent post!

  4. Thanks for the feedback, Sabthrae. I'm happy that you enjoyed this post.

    - Phil

  5. I LOVE the blackboard (which is actually green lol) I think "Two B or Double U" is going to be my new catch phrase

  6. Glad you liked the pictures, Raz. However, I must warn you that if you do make this a catchphrase and end up saying it aloud, it sounds like, "2 B or W," and people will think you have forgotten your alphabet (unless this blog becomes extremely famous, after which anyone on the street will get your reference).

    Thanks for the feedback.

    - Phil

  7. vilite246 says:

    Wow. You really should have more posts filled with tons of pictures. This post is so true. When my teacher announced that she was getting married for the 9th time (no joke, I’m serious), we stared her down. It was awkward for her. Then she went into hysterics about how we are emotionless brick walls. However, when she announced that we were finally getting new EXPO markers, my entire class burst into song.

    • Ha. I’ll see if I can work in more pictures to posts, especially over long weekends, when I have more time. Thanks for the feedback.

  8. great post, dude you got an awesome blog makes me laugh all the time

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