5 Things You Must Consider when Making Your Holiday Wish List

A holiday wish listWe now have only one year and four days until the world ends.  Do you know what that means? It means I can do simple math.  Oh, it also means that this will be your last winter holiday season ever.

In that case, you had better make this one the best ever.  And it all starts with your wish list, assuming you celebrate one of the religious holidays where gifts come into play (if you don’t celebrate a holiday such as this, than pretend you are making a birthday wish list.  If you don’t celebrate birthdays, just pretend that you are making a shopping list of goods you wish you had with the price being more than seven times the income of both of your parents).

Affordability

We live in tough economic times.  This has been made clear by things such as the ‘occupy’ protests, the sole purposes of which were to land the (unemployed) protesters as Time’s Person of the Year (as opposed to last year’s winner, Mark Zuckerburg, who created jobs and a multi-billion dollar company).

So, when creating your holiday wish list, one thing you need to consider is price.  The best way to calculate this is to estimate how much your college education is going to cost, and ask for gifts that cost twice as much (this way, you can sell off your gifts in a few years at half price and still pay for college).  Also, consider that the world will end next year, and “you can’t take it with you.”

Indulgence

The holidays are a time for wants, not needs.  I mean, just look at some of the holiday car commercials: even though the same couple got a new Lexus last year, they are getting another one this year.  I don’t think having two Lexii is considered a need unless you are the owner of the company and can’t have you or your wife seen driving around in a Ferrari.

Look over your holiday list and make sure that absolutely everything on it is a want, not a need.  This has the advantage of ensuring you don’t get ugly socks or sweaters this year; if they are ugly, they are certainly not a want, and if they are warm, then they are a need and thus should not be gifted during the holidays.  If they are both ugly and warm, then they become a “stress factor,” which is not economics but health.

Bragability

While you must consider your wants, you also need to consider what you are going to say when people ask you “What’d you get for [insert holiday/non-religious day/season/ “no reason” here]?”

Most commercials you see at this time of year have already ingrained this in you, so you shouldn’t need to think about this too much (“I got my 18th Lexus;” “I got twelve smartphones-there was a deal;” “I got ‘Logistics’;”).  Just make sure that you don’t ask for something un-cool, or you’ll have to reply with something like: “I got a new stainless-steal set of teaspoons with the losers of every presidential election since 1856 sculpted onto the handle.”

Legality

I needed to throw this in somewhere, because we all know how us teens think.  Please try to follow the law in your wish list.  For example, don’t ask for a shoulder-mounted rechargeable dual-barreled blue-flaming Barbie-launcher without first asking for the required permit from your state, province, country, planet, or solar system (with weapons as dangerous as the one in the example, sometimes the extraterrestrials get involved in the monitoring process).

Length

I think we all know that it is impossible to hope that everything on your list is something you receive. Thus, you need to make your list somewhere between the length of a Stephen King novel and “Shakespeare: Complete Works.”  This way, you are guaranteed to receive enough gifts, even if only 10% of your list is fulfilled.

If you can remember to consider these five things, your holiday wish list will truly be the best wish list ever.  Please, though, don’t send me a copy, or I might start to feel guilty about the havoc I have just wreaked on your parents. (But I’ll just forget about the guilt by remembering that these are the same parents who let their teens read this blog in the first place, and so they deserve it).

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Comments

  1. I appreciated the picture you included in this post.

    • Thanks, Alicia. This one was easy-all I had to do was take a picture of my actual wishlist and then trace it in PhotoStudio to make it look fake.
      – Phil

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