Attack of the Metaphors

I’ll bet you find lots of things that confuse you.  I find plenty.  For instance, I never did understand why this blog still has under a million hits, because its already been on the web for more than three hours.  I guess I’m just out-of-touch with America these days.

Remember that poetry unit? I decided that poetry is summed up perfectly by this: If something is difficult to understand, it is a metaphor.  So, if the poet was writing about the ocean and then talked about a horse, you know there is a metaphor about.  My inability to connect to my future million-person reader-base is actually a metaphor showing either that ‘when times change, get a new watch’ or ‘just be yourself’.

This is helpful for daily life as well.  Don’t understand why the sky is blue? It’s a metaphor.  Why’s the airplane flight always late? It’s just a metaphor.

Here’s a situation where it could be helpful:

Teacher: After that, you take the cube-root of x to the 1/3 and add i.

You (possible response 1): What? [Brain climbs out of head and hops across desks to the window.]


You (possible response 2): Oh, I get it.  X is a metaphor for the struggle between light and dark in regards to the morals of i.

Which would you choose?  Personally, I think it would be cool to see what your brain looks like.

Honestly, though, there must be somewhere to draw the line (which is, ironically, a metaphoric line).  Everything can’t be metaphoric; something must be taken at face value.  The real truth, though, seems to be the fact that there isn’t a defined line.

I know people who find metaphors everywhere, and others who refuse to believe in metaphors.  I think the place to draw the line depends on comprehension level.  I can understand how a caged bird can be a metaphor.  I don’t understand how the Cheerios I had for breakfast this morning were, so that’s where I draw the line.

Actually, that’s probably because, in the morning, I resemble one of those Cheerios that isn’t quite very soggy yet but is just soggy enough not to yield a satisfying crunch.  There: I just managed to explain my level of awareness in the morning by comparing it to the crunchiness of a Cheerio; the crunch level is a metaphor for awareness.

I’m starting to freak myself out now (metaphors are EVERYWHERE!) so I am going to stop before I discover that my left leg doesn’t actually exist, but rather that it is a metaphor for the support I receive in life from compassionate peopl-my leg is gone!-never mind, too late.

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