The Best Addition to Your Perfect Schedule

School ScheduleHigh school is a place of opposites. First of all, there are the practically-crazy people who ‘challenge’ themselves by taking classes that inflict hours of work and extreme sleep-deprivation. These people are determined, motivated individuals who have unusual definitions of success (ie: 4 hours of sleep due to a 4-point assignment).

On the other hand, there are the students who value things such as sleep and sanity. In order to live by their core values, these students take mind-boggling classes like study hall, late arrival, early release, and PE.

Of course, most people would think that the first group (self-inflicting sleep-deprived over-achievers) would be more valued by a high school due to typical academic standards. Yet in my experience, high schools encourage the exact opposite. This means that counselors will strive to convince each student that since the change from 8th grade to freshman year is a “tough transition,” the student must make their classes as small of a challenge as possible. This leads to many students filling their schedule with PEs and study halls galore, but sometimes – God forbid – there is still a free period in the schedule.

This ‘free period’ I speak of is a true terror. It is when there are no more easy classes to take — when one must choose from the vast plethora of actual classes which require actual work. My friends, this is nothing to joke about, for it may impose potentially another 10 minutes of work each night; a toll that no high school student can take. Thus, as a noble, valiant blogger, I have created a solution to this issue. The solution is as follows:

New Class Option: “Intro to Basics – For Beginners!”

“Intro to Basics – For Beginners” involves hard work and provides an unbeatable learning experience. Derived from programs at some of the nation’s most prestigious institutions, the modified curriculum of the class teaches students absolutely everything about how to learn absolutely nothing! In the class, students are encouraged to learn in a more natural manner. This includes student-ran field trips to nearby 7-Eleven stores as well as productive tutorials on sleeping through class (and even fire-drills!). In order to ensure focus and continuous learning throughout the semester, the class provides a pre-determined grading scale:

10 Points – Miss the class in order to sleep-in at home.

10 Points – Buy a Big Gulp Slurpie along with one of those gross chili-dogs that no one ever buys from a gas station.

30 Points – Complete the REM cycle using a binder as a pillow during a single class period.

50 Points – Annoy everyone else in the classroom using a new, creative method.

As you may have noticed, the number of points from each criterion adds up to a total of 100 points. Thus, completing each task the suggested number of times (the number of points for each task) ensures a perfect 100 percent! For some, this fantastic achievement comes easy, but for others, it does not. The only way you can know is if you participate in this once-in-a-lifetime learning experience. So I encourage you to sign up and give “Intro to Basics – For Beginners” a try. The class truly is the best foundation for a successful future!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Additional Resources

Want more?

Like this post? Want more just like it? Have a strange rash on your arm that is slowly turning into an alien life form? Subscribe to get more-convenient and free (yes, that is even the solution to that last question).

Grab our Ebook!

Our ebook cover

Want more hilarious content? Get our ebook! It's 5,500+ words with 19 exclusive pictures. You can pick up your copy on our ebook page.

Grab the Badge!

my badgeIf you want to share this blog with your readers, you can copy and paste the html code below.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: