Parent Initials: the Failed Attempt at Stopping ‘Rebs’

If you have a kid, then I’m sure you’ve gotten good at signing your initials.  The teachers want them on everything: grade checks, reading time log, class syllabi, the individual crackers of snack, and your forehead, to name a few.  Here’s a business idea that sounds cool and original but is one that I am sure is already taken: a customized stamp that stamps your initials.

The DMV has also jumped onto the ‘initials bandwagon’ (or ‘initials four-wheel crossover, roomy yet compact, electric energy wagon that gives birth to young sparrows when driven’, to be politically correct).  They require parents to initial their teens’ driving logs, so that the teens will truthfully record their hours (although you would think that someone would notice if you managed to drive 25 hours in a day).

Here’s a conversation (that was edited for the view of all audiences) I had with somebody who will be referred to only as “Other” to protect him from angry DMV secretaries, the guy who runs the coffee shop down the street, and the overall population of Egypt.

Me (to a different person than Other, known in this script for the reason stated above as Another): Dude, how do you have time to drive that much?

Another: I don’t know, why?

Me: I barely have time to drive at all.  I don’t know how I’ll ever get my 50 hours of required time in.

Another: Too bad.

Other (butting in): You know, you don’t have to get 50 hours, you know.

Me: Yah, actually, you need that many.

Other: Yeah, but you can just write them down.

Me: But then my parents won’t sign it.

Other: Oh, that’s too bad.  My parents will.

Me: Yeah, I know, right?

Seems pretty normal, right?  What if I re-wrote the last few lines:

Me: Yah, actually, you need that many.

Other: Yeah, but you could just lie and write them down.

Me: But then my parents won’t sign it, and I haven’t taken AP Forgery yet.

Other: Oh, that’s too bad.  My parents even signed the Declaration of Independence, and they didn’t write it.  Isn’t that a riot?

Me: Yeah, I know, right? Isn’t it awful how I have law-abiding parents?

While some of that may not have occurred to me at the time of the conversation, the point I am trying to make is that it is hip’ for teenagers to become ‘rebs’ (the shortened version of ‘rebels’, which was a shortened version of rebellious; next up is ‘re’).  In the future, it appears that politicians will have to pass laws banning citizens from following the law.  This way, it will be ‘hip’ to ignore that law and obey the rest of the laws (at least for those whose heads don’t explode after pondering that paradox).  If you don’t know what paradox I’m talking about, don’t worry; your head is in no danger of combustion.

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