The Best Way to Motivate Teens: Nap Time

I was thinking the other day.  Hold on-scratch that.

I definitely wasn’t thinking the other day.  After all, not only do I have no brain (being a teen, it’s a scientific fact), I also didn’t have enough sleep for my brain to get past the “Milk doesn’t go in the cupboard” level of thought.

So, while I wasn’t thinking, I stumbled upon a brilliant idea (as so often happens when one forgets to think; look at Benjamin Franklin.  Do you honestly think he was thinking when he flew that kite with a key in the thunderstorm?) and fell flat on my face.  After picking myself up, I looked down to see what bright idea had tripped me, and came up with this piece of sheer genius:

Nap Time

You heard me right.  Nap time is probably the best way to motivate teens, ever.

Let me give you an example: if a high school teacher tells the students to put their heads down on their desks, say, for a vote by raise of hands, twenty-three of the twenty-four students will fall asleep immediately (“Alright, guys.  Who didn’t vote?”).  The twenty-fourth student will vote for whatever option comes first, and then, with a cleared conscious, fall asleep.

See, it all stems from the basic want to survive.  Teens (at least boys) naturally seek out food and drink, to the point where some supermarkets have considered requiring leashes on any teen within twenty feet of a free sample.  So, then, all that leaves is shelter, but, being teens, we honestly don’t care where we sleep, so we only seek more sleep.

Of course, it helps that we are already sleep deprived due to school’s early start time.  The fact that most of us get 2 hours of sleep a night is certainly a factor.

But, honestly, the strongest motivators give people what they want; in our case, sleep.  Logically, if the teacher told a class full of teens that anyone currently with an A in the class got the last fifteen minutes of class to sleep, this would work magic.  Specifically, the magic of having thirty students simultaneously Google “hack online grade.”

Even that, though, is progress.  At least our students are learning something, right? Those hacking skills ought to be plenty enough to get a good job, or into a good college.  With the current quality of your average high school graduate, most graduations are made up of snores (by sleeping teens).

Obviously, nothing is better for teens than a nap.

Readers: I have not been able to post all week, due to, as you may have guessed from this post, lack of sleep.  I apologize for that, and I’ll get back to regular posting as soon as possible.

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Comments

  1. burstoutinsong!!! says:

    gosh i NEVER get past the “why am i looking for my car keys in the fridge?” level in the morning (mostly beacuse i dont have a car and therfore have no car keys, but for some reason i am standing here aimlessly staring into the fridges soul and must come up with an excuse so that my mother does not check me into that mental facility again *sigh*)…at least until i am jolted into reality by the last bell of the school day aka Frrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!!!!!!!!! right now i am fully awake though because i regained lost sleep by coffee and NAP during spanish class! thnx for the post phil!! i will now be emailing this to my principle (dont ask how i got his email) i know im kinda late on commenting but hey!! i was tiredzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    ~Abbey

    • Hahaha. At least you only look for your car keys in the fridge, though. Ever since my great-aunt moved away from Florida, she spends much of her time staring aimlessly into the fridge, looking for the Florida Keys. I’m glad you like the post. Thanks for taking the…*bzzap!*…time to comment (please ignore the sounds of my electro-shock machine; let’s just say it’s like a reusable form of caffeine).
      – Phil

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