The Worst Part of Summer: Summer Homework

Don’t read the title of this post. Oh, you did? Sorry. Well, the good news is that I’m reminding you about your summer homework at the beginning of the summer, so you have about two months to try and re-erase it from your memory.

See, summer is not about school. Summer and school go together about as well as apple juice and potato salad*. The good thing is that summer and school are pretty much separate.

*No, I did not make that statement from experience. Mostly. Okay, maybe I did. It DOESN’T CONCERN YOU. MOVE ALONG.

Logically, then, homework, which is the worst part of school, should not exist during summer vacation, right? Obviously, you say. (Notice how you are unable to disagree with me when I’m writing. This is why I always win arguments – I talk for the other person and make them agree with me).

However, homework does exist during summer. For most AP and Honors classes, summer homework is the norm.

Now I’m sure you are aware why homework is bad. If you are not, you are either very lucky (having never had homework), very stupid, or lucky to be stupid, although that isn’t actually all that lucky (although if you were stupid it might seem lucky, which is stupid).

Summer homework, though, is uniquely bad for many reasons.

The Weather

Now, you either live in a place where it is sunny all the time, like Mercury, or you live in a place where it rains every single day except for ten weeks during summer, like where I live (in a cloud). In that case, your summer basically goes something like this:

You [sitting at a computer, doing an AP History study guide]: My brain is melting…[you glance outside] Wow, it’s nice outside. You can even see the storm drains – there’s no water flooding them! [Sigh] But I have to work on this.

[In the window: A frolicking (assuming birds can frolic) blue bird flies by. Then another bird.]

You: Ughh! Those birds are enjoying this weather while I have to do this stupid study guide on…Benjamin Jefferson? Huhmm, this must be some new stuff…

[In the window: A monarch butterfly flits by. You pause to watch it.]

You: No, gotta focus. Let’s see, George “Sacagawea” Adams was born in…

[In the window: A flock? Herd? Gang? Bundle? Of butterflies goes by, completely blocking out everything but the sun for three minutes.]

You: That was cool. I’ve never seen a rabble* of butterflies before.

[In the window: Just as your head turns back to the computer, the bluebirds return and land on a birdbath.]

You: I wish I could go swimming, too. Hey, wait a minute, I don’t have a birdbath outside my window.

[In the window: Birdbath disappears, and the birds perch on the windowsill and start singing summer songs that you hear way too many times on the radio in the summer, such as “Doo-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-dee.”]

You: I don’t believe it. Now I’m in, like, a Disney movie. That’s it [pulls out metal cuffs and chains self to desk.] I have to finish this. [Parts of your brain start dripping out your ears as you try to focus. Scene fades to black].

*I guess my subconscious is smarter than I am.

Some People Don’t Have Summer Homework

While I’m sure your esteemed colleagues and you are the geniuses of the school, and thus have tons of summer homework, I guarantee that no matter what, one of your friends won’t have any.

This means you will be subject for the rest of your summer to comments like: “Hey, want to go to the park with us? Oh, wait, I’ll bet your summer homework is more fun,” “Dude, I’m having a party tomorrow, but you can only come if you’re done with all your homework, ha ha,” “You have summer hoooommmeeeewooooorrrrrk. I don’t. Seriously, though, your summer will suck.”

The Homework Itself

Granted, most homework assignments are about as mind-stimulating as lying in a dentists’ chair while they drill your teeth. But certainly, there is a scale of how boring the assignment is.

Well, I’ve got some bad news: Thomas Edison is no longer alive. Oh, sorry, I meant to say that summer homework is on the lowest end of the scale. It’s reading, worksheets, memorization, and, in extreme cases of AP Honors Advanced Accelerated classes, water boarding as well.

Honestly, summer homework is terrible. So, while you spend at least a week this summer seriously procrastinating and doing your summer homework, know that you’re not alone. There are many others in the same situation. Myself, well, let’s just say I worked out a deal with my teachers so all I have to do is record myself drinking potato-salad-apple-juice. They agreed that as long as it’s unpleasant, it works as a substitute.

Also, we’ve added a new page to our site entitled “Suggest a Post.” If you have an idea or topic that you’d like to see written about, go to that page and submit it. More info can be found there as well.

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  1. Thanks for the interesting blog post. I actually also
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  2. AGirlOutOfDepth says:

    Hi Phil.
    I live in Australia and I think in terms from America you could call me a freshman. This post is exactly about what I think would suck about living in America. In Australia our Summer is during December, January and Febuary. Just before Christmas we end the school year and have 6 weeks off then start the next school year. During that break it’s Summer and we don’t have any Summer Homework. Throughout the year we have three 2 week breaks which all include school work. Actually, our last break before the end of the year starts in 2 weeks. Except I already know that I’ll have Art and English assignments to work on.on return to school, at the start of the year, its still hot and we have to wear school uniforms. We have our positives and negatives to do wih the school system – and I guess you do to. If only we could set up a school system that had both our positives!!!
    By the way, I’m thinking of doing an exchange program to America and I was wondering what year would be to go, like, how old I should be to be able to take in four or six months of school there but still have some fun. ???
    – AGirlOutOfDepth

    P.S. I really like your blog. I only found it last night but I read quite a few of the posts you and Ted put up. They’re really awesome!!! :)

    • AGirlOutOfDepth,
      Thanks for the compliment. It would be great to have a school system that’s a perfect combo of both of our systems. To answer your question, I’m not sure whether you meant year or months, but in the US people usually study abroad sophomore or junior year; freshmen need experience and no one wants to miss senior year. If you wanted to take in 4-6 months of school and then have summer, you’d want to come possibly at the start of your year, in January, ’cause our school gets out in May-June for a two month summer.
      – Phil

  3. AGirlOutOfDepth says:

    That sounds good. My friends dad finished school over here and then went to America and went to school for the last year there. :/ Don’t know about that. But, say
    if I spent January through to May for the school part and then spent another two months after it for the break – would that be good? Btw I’d be turning 17 in May, so that would be better, right? :)
    – AGirlOutOfDepth

  4. AGirlOutOfDepth says:

    :D thanks Phil.

    – AGirlOutOfDepth

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