Author Profile: Ted

Ted no longer writes for this blog; he posted only a few times long ago. You can find those posts under the “Ted’s writings” category.

As a blogger, I couldn’t simply use my real name. Of course, I contemplated letting out my significant identity to the rest of the online blogging world, but I found some cons that I had to consider:

  • Paparazzi – As if I don’t have enough already. I can’t handle any more press, and having my real name on the blog would not help the cause.
  • Ben Franklin – This great man used a pseudonym for a while (Silence Dogood). Just now, I considered making a bad joke about my pseudonym being something like ‘Noise Misbehave,’ but we all know that’s a bad joke. Back to the point, I figure if I use a pseudonym, I might discover electricity.
  • Out of Reasons – I’m out of sarcastic or funny reasons, so I’ll move on.

Anyway, the pseudonym I have chosen is Ted. For a while, I was considering Pedro, but that’s awfully overused since the movie “Napolean Dynamite.” I then considered Bob, but I always have problems pronouncing that one backwards. Thus, I settled on Ted.

Feel free to call me unaccepTed, bevomiTed, annihilaTed, or any other of the like nicknames. Make sure to keep them disrespectful and mean. I mean, since I’m blogging, I must be in the good life. I just need a few bashes to the self-esteem to keep me going.

By this point, you are surely wondering, “Who is this amazingly boring, not even funny blogger that I am stupid to be reading?” Well, I knew you would ask this, so I prepared an answer. I am an amazingly boring, not even funny blogger that you are reading.

Otherwise, I am in high school, I write, and I have never been to outer space. If you have any other questions, please speak to my press secretary or agent. Between blogging, winning Emmy’s, winning Nobel prizes, and solving global warming, I just don’t have any time for you.

(You can see all of my writings under the “Ted’s Writings” category).

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